I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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