make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
