I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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