Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
