the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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