How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
