Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
