i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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