I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
