I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
