I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
