I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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