im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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