Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize