We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
