Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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