Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
