Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
