she was so not down for the gang bang
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
