nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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