she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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