I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
