Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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