He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
