No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
