Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
