Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
