Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
