very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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