I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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