Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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