I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
