every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
