I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
