Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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