never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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