The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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