Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
