I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
