literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize