sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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