Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
