she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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