On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
