My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
