yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
