He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize