your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
