Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize