New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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