She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
