Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
FUCK WHALES
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
