Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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