i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
