he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
