I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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