I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
