You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
