Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
