words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
