Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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