Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
