My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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