2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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