Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
